Not to brag but as far as my memory serves me right, I haven’t made a huge lie (ummm yet?) that I can share. Of course there are those white lies I did as a kid (and as an adult) but no matter how much I try to remember, I still couldn’t think of something I can consider as huge. Or maybe… every lie I told can actually be considered as something ‘huge’ for some people but not for me because I’ve already made so much lies that I couldn’t distinguish if it’s something huge or not. Meh.
Anyway, I’ll just tell those ridiculous lies I made as a kid that makes me laugh now and makes me realize how stupid I was when I did that.
5. The American Cousin
Back when I used to talk and gossip with my “guRlfrAndz” over the phone, I remember one time when my best friend told me about her American cousin named Andanise. She spoke to me over the phone at times but I still didn’t believe that. Because I was so competitive that I felt that I needed to top that American cousin, I made my own American cousin as well. Her name was “Kenny Lainozz.” What on Earth was I thinking? What a stupid name. I pretended to be Kenny and talked to my best friend—complete with an American accent.
4. The Dream
I was always that student who always loved to recite in class. In our English class, we were asked about our last dream and tell it to the class. My classmates told weird and amazing stories and mine was utterly boring—so I decided to invent a dream! The dream was so lame because I just wanted to impress my crush that he was in my dream. Kill me now.
3. When I forgot (to do) my assignment.
When I was in 5th grade, I forgot to do my assignment. I know it’s just a normal thing kids do but not for me. I was a very competitive student and I always wanted to be included in the honor roll. I can’t believe myself that I forgot about it! (I also remember that one time I forgot to do my assignment and my teacher made me leave the room. It was my birthday that day. Aww.) When it was already my turn to bring my assignment in front to be checked by my teacher, I told her I left it at home because the chart for cleaning materials (the homework) was too big for me to bring to school CONSIDERING that I live only a few blocks away from school. Damn it. How lame. In the end, my mom saw my Huge Zero and reprimanded me.
2. Doctor, Doctor I am sick
To make things clear, this was an unintentional lie. I didn’t plan for this. Hahahaha.
When I was in high school, I was always this sickly girl (dengue girl here, bitch!) who’s always in the clinic and my name’s the only name you can repeatedly see in the logbook of the school nurse. If only our school nurse were not that hot-headed, she could’ve been my best friend. One time during class, our High school principal excused me from class (it was a Math class… imagine being excused in a Math class… HEAVEN ON EARTH FEELING) saying that my father was there to fetch me because I’m supposed to have a medical appointment with my doctor. I hurriedly packed my bags and went with my father to the hospital, only to find out that the doctor was out. So instead, we ate lunch at Jollibee and went home. I slept and ate snacks. Didn’t bother going back to class.
1. Doctor, Doctor I am sick version 2.0
Since I was always sickly due to my allergy, the clinic became my sanctuary. I usually sleep because we had a slightly comfortable bed in school we can sleep on if we weren’t feeling well. At that time, I had my allergies but I couldn’t exactly remember if I felt ill or I was just sleepy. So there I went to the clinic, slept, and woke up feeling perfectly fine. When the nurse asked me if I was okay, I told them I still wasn’t feeling well. They asked me if I wanted to go home, to which of course I immediately replied, “Yes.” I commuted on my way home and our guidance counselor saw me smirking because of that lie. I told him I really didn’t feel well but then he asked me how am I able to commute if I was really not feeling well. When I got home, I slept and had my snacks.
I’m not proud of lying. It’s a bad thing!! There were other bad things I’ve done as a kid, but now that I’m almost 20 years old, I now know that what I have done were things that my parents won’t be proud of if they knew about it. I’ve thought about these mistakes and sometimes, it still haunts me. Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson well: That lying just to impress is bad, and that lying about what you really feel can make you feel even worse. 🙂